The Vixen’s Weight Loss History

I’ve always loved food, and I’ve never liked to be told “no.”

Some of my earliest food-related memories are of food being taken away, and my parents asking “aren’t you full?” I have clear memories of being bribed into exercise by my marathon-running mama by being told that my favorite ice cream stand was on the end of the several-mile bike ride. Until I moved out on my own, I used to closet-eat, and I’d consistently lie about where the desserts disappeared to.

Looking back on my history with food, I can see that I am at times truly powerless over it. I feel compelled to eat. I go on binges. I don’t know enough psychology to tell you why I am programmed this way, but food has always been a comfort to me. It makes me feel better, and it tastes good, and to top it off, I love to both eat and cook it.

I remember being young (maybe 6 or 7) when I first started to struggle with my weight. Growing up I was always slightly plump, and I remember feeling pretty awkward — my curves came in at a young age, and it just seemed like I was round all over the place. Again, food was a comfort.

I’ve tried lots of different types of diets in my day. I’ve done n0 carbs, calorie counting, South Beach diet, massive amounts of exercise, “no white stuff diet” (no flours or sugars or artificial sweeteners), and so on. I’ve had on-and-off success with all of these diets. As an adult, I’ve had the unique experience of being the heaviest I’ve been in my life and the lightest I’ve been in my life over the course of one summer.

I was 135 lbs. at the end of Summer 2008 (also known as “Summer of Change,” an extreme diet and exercise summer that resulted in a 40 lb weight loss), and for various reasons, I quit college temporarily and moved back to Baltimore in Spring 2009. I didn’t weigh myself very frequently during that time, but I knew that I was probably creeping up on the scale. Between 2009-2010, I probably hovered in the 140s and lower 150s. In the summer of 2010, I met Chris. We fell in love, and every weekend was a celebration of love. And what goes better with love than food (come on, I’m half Hungarian-Jewish and half Italian-Catholic, it’s in my blood to celebrate with food!)?

I don’t know how it happened, but in Summer 2011 I weighed around 175 lbs (and maybe a few pounds more!). I was as heavy as I had ever been. I was sick and tired of looking in the mirror and hating myself. I didn’t want to celebrate love anymore — even after I got engaged. I felt embarrassed at how ugly I thought I looked. More importantly, I was tired of feeling so bad all the time — physically, I never felt quite right at that weight. I felt unhealthy, sluggish, and slow.

August 3rd, 2011 was my first weigh-in day on Weight Watchers. I knew I had to change my behaviors, and Weight Watchers was one of the only diets I hadn’t tried, and it garnered pretty good reviews. The online plan fit better with my schedule, so I decided to forgo the meetings.

My goal weight is 140, the upper end of the BMI scale for my height (5’3″). I am voluptuous, I love food, and I’m not willing to sacrifice flavor to get thin. I’d rather slowly get healthier and learn more about myself along the way. I want to cook delicious food and eat tasty things and not feel guilty. I want to push myself to become more active. I want to like what I see in the mirror and love how it feels to be in my body.

Update: I achieved my lowest weight of around 144 lb in August 2012, and got married in the upper 140s in September 2012. After our honeymoon in Italy and Paris, I came back to the US and tried various things to get back on track, but never seemed to reconnect with the Weight Watchers program. After the holidays, the scale crept back up to the 160s. Enough is enough — I quit Weight Watchers and decided to really focus on calorie counting and getting my body back to where it needs to be. Healthy, happy, and lean. Cheers to a promising, healthy 2013!

I’m tired of dieting, and I’m ready for a lifestyle change.

Starting Weight: 175 lbs. on August 3, 2011

5 % Weight Loss: 166 lbs. on September 7, 2011

10 % Weight Loss: 157.2 lbs. on November 16, 2011

Lowest weight in 2012: 144 lbs. in August 2012

Current weight: 164.5 on January 2, 2013

Goal Weight: 140 lbs.

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